Density

The day the we figure out how to run cars on stupidity is the day the derricks go up in Paris. I simply can't comprehend how so much dumb can be crammed into one head.

If you're unable to do telephone banking because there's no fucking dial tone, the French thing to do would be to blame the bank. It must be the bank's fault and couldn't possibly have anything to do with the months of unpaid phone bills.

Poll: capital punishment
x-posted to da brog.

I CAN HAZ TRANEING

"Dog, your training has been approved."
"Citrix? Finally??"
"No, Oracle. DBA path.
"Umm... "

Poll: Preferred database
x-posted to da brog.

Which Side Are You On?

Current Location: Near a high tower
Current Mood: Murderous
Current Music: Billy Bragg - Back to Basics

So the conf call is over. I was right. Had I not had the logs beforehand we would've been completely confused and gone in the completely wrong direction based on their verbal descriptions. But just before it began...

Puppy poll
x-posted to da brog.

Region Locking

That Citrix training I was promised? Yeah, it's right there with that advancement I was also promised. And the raise. There's Citrix training to be had, but not here, nosiree. It's too expensive here in Germany. Citrix offers training all over the world, even in Bulgrohungria. Do you see where this is going? I did as soon as my manager Vera mentioned it.

Sweet poll.
x-posted to da brog.

I Never Could Get the Hang of Thursdays

There are worse things than Installing software on a virtual environment. For example, installing software on a virtual server which is 10,000 miles away and has ping times of around 200ms. And that's not so bad when compared to having to do that install via a secondary virtualisation through something like VLC.

x-posted to da brog, sans buzzy poll.

Dante was an Optimist

Yesterday's conf call about Citrix didn't quite go as I'd expected. A feeling of dread washed over me at ten last night as I realised that I'll once again have to build a full Citrix environment for testing, completely replacing the feeling of calm which had washed over me as I'd sipped from my glass of frightfully expensive whiskey to pass the time on that call.

The matter is now officially interesting. Fuck.

x-posted to da brog, sans poll.

Flinging Poo

ATTENTION MONKEY COLLEAGUE INFIDELS: When flinging poo, the idea is to throw it outside the cage at the fuckwits and gawkers and not -- repeat, not -- inside your cage, and under no circumstances at your fellow monkeys.

Yesterday was a national holiday (not celebrated, ironically, in its country of origin). Getting a day off only means there'll be that much more shit to deal with once I get back. This time was no exception. The only thing worse than a fuckwit is a clever admin, and $BigInsuranceCo has one.

x-posted to da brog, sans poll.

This Frog's For You

From: Configuration Duty Monkey
To: SysAdmin Duty Monkey, REC
Subject: area change

Hi,

New ticket in from $FrenchBank. This looks like a typical REC issue :-))
Can I move this to SysAdmin?

Fuckers.

I oughta call this A Minute in the Life. Cold turkey was a bad idea. Lunch made me feel even worse. Details inside along with a stupidity poll.

x-posted to da brog, sans poll.

Give me a Break!

If you're a programmer and you use an editor which helpfully makes long lines more readable by automatically wrapping text, make sure you turn off that feature before you check in your fucking code.

bc_lpService = this; //hive the THIS pointer;
}
// FIXLIST: Finalize and move to the right module, not SYSCORE.DLL
Initialize(NULL);

ASSERT(bc_lpServiceName);

The FIXIT comment was never removed despite having, in fact, been fixed. The initialize command never took place because there was no line feed between the end of the goddamned comment and the command so the module couldn't initialise. It took three months to track this one down.

x-posted to da brog.

"Unsupported" doesn't mean "except for you".

cust: We're having problems with YourBigApp on Citrix.
me: I'm not surprised. Citrix is unsupported.
cust: Yeah, we know it's not supported. But anyway, we set up YourBigApp on Citrix...

x-posted from Blogspot